~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~it's all about the love~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Stuck in the grey & giveaway winners

On the heels of a couple almost-normal days where faking it inline was mildly possible, the last few have been covered in a thick layer of grey. It's not even a translucent shadow where I can at least tumble a few words onto a page that are homelessly, hopelessly, frustratingly rattling around my brain. It's thick and bold and has but one purpose, to suck the life out of me, and unfortunately its succeeding.

I'm not giving up because I know January and February have dealt me this hand of depression for more years than I can remember, but this year rather than not seeing the forest for the trees, I can't even see the trees. The last couple of years seemed less grey or maybe they were lighter variations; ash, slate, rather than the thick gunmetal grey I'm stuck in right now. I also know that the majority of the time I've felt like this hospitalization has been the solution but that's not something I want to even consider right now. Making that decision on my own is in itself a little glimmer of light I suppose.

There is still a piece of my brain, of my heart, that knows if I tough it out this too shall pass but my vision is so cloudy from the fog and tears I'm having a hard time hanging onto that thought. My reclusive ways don't help me during these times when my fingers itch to reach out for a helping hand or a kind word but I just hope those relationships (online, RL) weather the storm - because things will get better, right?

My giveaway had 4 comments and rather than choose a winner (or trying to find the energy to do so), I'm giving each one a choice of format for In The Moment, because the title is so ironic to what's happening right now. If you have my email, mail me with your format preference and I'll send it along.
Stacey-Jo, Jagr, Lisa and vitajex.

The colour scheme seemed appropriate


  1. For many people, the winter months can be especially difficult with the cold, and in some places, gloomy weather. With your depression, it makes it even more so.
    Many warm thoughts, virtual *Hugs* and prayers to you. I hope today will be a better day for you.


  2. Thinking of you and sending big hugs your way. Take care.

  3. Hope you start to feel better soon. *big hugs*