~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~it's all about the love~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Introspective emo thoughts and Spirit Day

It hasn't been a good week so far. Too many things weighing on my mind and my heart; the suicide of a bright, beautiful young man - the let-down of a week of constant GayRomLit activity and socializing - the absence of contact with on-line friends - the fear of meeting a new friend - the aches of loneliness and unfulfilled love and affection - the frustration of writer's block - the audacity of people who think they can just run over others' feelings because they can hide behind the confines of a group - the constant rain of the past two days - and finally I was accused of being a stalker by someone who likes to bully others. I'm not going to go into that because it was bullshit. I'm not actually going to go into any of it. Just needed to put it down in words to clear some of it from my brain.

 I have no real cause, maybe no real right to feel the way I do. I'm alive, I'm traveling at the moment, my dream of being published is in the process of coming to life, I have people who care about me even though I don't feel I can approach anyone with my loneliness and emo-thoughts right now. I have it made in the shade but my heart is screaming for more. This is my bad time of year so I guess just holding it together is something, and that's what I feel I'm doing - just barely holding it together.

Please read and support the following - today is an important day.

What is Spirit Day? (borrowed from Amara)
Millions of Americans wear purple on Spirit Day as a sign of support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth and to speak out against bullying. Spirit Day was started in 2010 by teenager Brittany McMillan as a response to the young people who had taken their own lives. Observed annually on October 20, individuals, schools, organizations, corporations, media professionals and celebrities wear purple, which symbolizes spirit on the rainbow flag. Getting involved is easy -- participants are asked to simply "go purple" on October 20 as we work to create a world in which LGBT teens are celebrated and accepted for who they are. Learn more & go purple at www.glaad.org/spiritday


  1. I'm sorry you are struggling:( It has been a hard week. I hope it lightens a little for you. I know GRL was fun but at the same time I always realize how "different" I am on a socialization scale. You are also right about the let down after. It's hard to go from that level of activity and experiences to what I have at home. Know at least one other understands that much at least.

  2. *hugs you tight*

    I know some times are worse than others. It was just over a year ago I was going to drown myself. So I understand the time of year thing.

    There are many people who are mean. That's very hard to deal with, I know. But there are also many wonderful people too.

    But you are right, having good things in your life doesn't automatically make the bad go away.

    You are struggling to keep it together, but you ARE keeping it together so that is a plus.