The Gift of Choice
As I get older, I've come to realize how important it is to
have choices in my life.
Not that I'm good at making choices – indecisiveness
is my middle name…
well, along with procrastination – “Kaje
Indecisiveness Procrastination Harper”. But when the future is locked in, when
there is nothing left to choose, that can be such a helpless feeling. That's
part of the punishment of prison – not just the confinement but the complete
loss of control over one's life. Poverty, loss, separation, all can do the
same.
So today, when my friend K-lee asked me for a post about
being grateful, I'm going to give thanks to the people in my life who give me
the gift of choices.
In holidays past, to my husband. He turned down an academic
job he might have preferred for a commercial one that paid better, so I could
decide to stay home most days with our kids. So many precious moments, so much
fun and laughter and crafts and stories – and tough moments that I got to
handle myself, not pass on to a babysitter or daycare – that were his gift to
me and our children.
In holidays present, to my mother's caregiver. Nothing can
cure Mum's long, slow slide into Alzheimer's. But finding a wonderful,
competent and warmhearted woman who oversees my mother's day-to-day care – who noticed when fastening buttons was
becoming too difficult, who spotted that her increased disorientation was an
infection – her angel caregiver gives me
the choice of how often to visit, of whether and when to drop everything and
run up there for smaller concerns. She lets my mum's illness not control my
whole life, and gives Mum the illusion of as much choice as she can in her
declining years. Such a wonderful gift.
In the future, for my children, I hope and wish for choices.
For ways to use their many talents, for jobs they can pick and not be forced
into as the only way to survive. I hope they get to call me and agonize over
which degree program fits best, or which city calls to them as their new home.
I'll remind them that having more than one option is a
blessing; that having the back-up resources to fail and try again, to choose
something based on your heart and ten years later be able to change your mind,
to follow a passion and not a necessity, to have arms to hold you when something
comes apart so that you dare to take chances – those are things to be grateful
for indeed.
~~~
K-lee said we could do a little promo too. The book I want
to promote is this year's charity anthology.
“Wish Come True” is a collection of stories about young men
finding each other over the holidays. Six other wonderful authors joined me in
writing stories for this anthology, edited by Susan Lee. All proceeds from
this anthology go to “Lost-N-Found Youth” - an Atlanta-based nonprofit
corporation whose mission is to take homeless lesbian, gay, bisexual, and
transgender youths up to age 26 off the street and transition them into more
permanent housing.
"A Very English Christmas" by Keira
Andrews gives us a look at the first Christmas out in the world for
our favorite Amish guys - Aaron and David.
"Mr. Perfect's Christmas" by Joanna Chambers has an
unexpected Secret Santa gift changing some assumptions.
"The Christmas Ship" by Amy Jo Cousins pairs a twink
and a college football player, with a challenging route to a happy ending.
"That Thing" by Megan Erickson pits professional
ethics against the needs of a lonely guy.
"Just Like Heaven" by Suki Fleet traps a couple of
young guys in a snowstorm, where they may have to find a different kind of
heat.
My own story - "Not Your Grandfather's Magic" forces
Zeb to make some choices between a family tradition of power, and the sweet,
awkward guy who catches his eye, and maybe his heart.
"Bottle Boys" by Anyta Sunday shows what happens
when a lucky golden boy has to grow up.
As I'm being grateful
for all my blessings this holiday season, I want to remember those who don't
have my good fortune. Many LGBTQ people, including some teens, can't go home
for the holidays. For youth on the streets, it's a dark, cold, painful time of
year. Lost-N-Found Youth is one of many charities who try to make a difference.
My deepest gratitude to everyone who lends a helping hand and warm heart to those
young people who don't have a home or family with resources, heart, or grace to
care for them.
~ For the giveaway, I'm
offering a free ebook copy of the anthology (and I'll match the donation to Lost-N-Found
Youth, so you don't feel like they
lose out) or a free audio of my
book Into Deep Waters on
Audible.com. Winner's choice.
Once in a while I look
back at my notes for Into Deep Waters – a story of gay men loving each other from 1942 to the present – to
remind myself how far we've already come. Maybe one day, hearing about a child
being pushed out of their home for being LGBTQ will be shocking and unusual,
not just sad and incomprehensible. Let's all hope and work for that day, and be
grateful for everyone who makes a difference.
Erica loves hearing from her readers. She’s a friendly, easy-going (if a bit silly) person who doesn’t mind talking about herself in third person.
